To Make It Count
by Flirtatiouspriss
Summary: Rose finds life unbearable after the sinking of Titanic and depression sets in. Can she find enough happiness to carry Jack’s child to term? Not if Cal can help it. Please R &R.
1. A Deathly Visit

To Make It Count

By Mandy McLean

Summary: Rose's life following Titanic including her fight against depression and the birth of her fatherless child.

Rated PG-13 for later chapters including violence.

_I do not own any charaters from Titanic, yadda, yadda, yadda, etc.._

_A/N: I will try to update this story as quickly as possible but I am in school and they expect this stuff called homework. This story isn't neccessarily going to stay true to the end of the movie but I promise Jack won't be alive because that would be too cliche. _

_And so let the story begin..._

The moonlight crept into the room washing over the bed. A dark figure sat in the shadows. Slowly rising, the figure stepped out into the moonlight. Folds of her white cotton shift slowly danced behind her as she reached the window sill. Fingers trembling, she pulled it open. The wind swirled around the room beckoning her locks of red curls to prance. The crashing waves of the ocean were not too far off in the distance. The smell of salt permeated the small room.

The woman deeply inhaled and exhaled as she pulled herself up onto the sill. Her body shivered as the cold wind penetrated her. Although no coldness would ever compare to the icy waters of that night. Her face tightened as she recalled that night. It always followed her. Haunting her mind. The cries and the pleas rang all around her. Her mouth quivered. Her hands ran up the sides of the sill until she latched onto the top part of the window. She turned to face out. Her eyes glided over the scenery.

The dark waters of the ocean filled the entire horizon. Even though she was deathly afraid of the water she still needed to be near it so she could be close to him. Him. That was her whole reason for living. Without him she would surely be dead. At least on the inside. The fire he spoke of was gone though. She was a pale, empty version of the Rose she used to be. She stared down at the ground below her. Her window was the second story up. The fall would surely kill her. Which was what she was hoping for. Death. The first time she tried to kill herself he had stopped her. There was no one this time.

It was too hard to go on. Everyday tears and pain filled her every waking moment. And when she slept she dreamt of that horrible night. Her horrors had even resulted in fits of vomiting every morning. Her once healthy, vibrant face had now become sullen and chalky. She blinked back the tears. As her blurred eyes tried to focus she saw the dark figure standing there. She tried to glimpse the figures face. As the clouds shifted, the moonlight poured onto the figure revealing the true identity. She realized it was him. Gasping for air she tried to call to him. But no sound came out. Her voice failed her. Although, the winds carried a familiar voice to her... _You promised, Rose, you promised. _She instantly knew what the voice meant. The figure vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

She stumbled back down off the sill. She wouldn't do it this night. Not now. But maybe perhaps someday she would have the courage to go through with it. As Rose made her way back to the bed she assured herself not tonight. She would live another day. Each day harder than the last.

TBC

Please read and reveiw!


	2. Hard Times

Rose awoke from her troubled sleep, gasping for air. Beads of cold sweat adorned her pale skin like glistening jewels. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness she remembered where she was. She was still in her bed at the inn. Pulling the covers closely around her frail body, she sighed heavily. The dreams had been strong tonight. This night being the two month anniversary since the Titanic had sank. Rose tried to lull herself back into a restless sleep but it was to no avail. She couldn't do this anymore. She needed to move on.

After discovering the necklace in Cal's coat, she prompted to check the other pocket and sure enough there was a wad of cash. A little bit over a thousand dollars to be exact. Rose hid from Cal and Ruth the entire time she was aboard the Carpathia and she managed to escape them a second time when the ship docked. Not sure of what to do Rose wandered the streets of New York until she found the only inn that would let a woman check in alone. She had told the manager that she was a widow. He hardly believed her but granted her a room nonetheless.

Ms. Rose Dawson was ready to start her new life; except she never imagined how hard it was for a woman to find a job. No one wanted a woman, let alone a woman who hardly had any skills that were useful. She blamed her mother for that. Riding side saddle and drinking tea like a lady hardly qualified as useful. Still Rose tried her hardest. Finally Rose had to succumb to the world of seamstresses. Questionable at best, Rose tried her best to learn the skill quickly.

Sickness overcame Rose every chance it got. She was so overcome with grief that her body was always sick or so she thought. It hadn't even occurred to her that she hadn't had her period in over two months now. Her thoughts were so overcome with haunting memories that she hardly paid attention to herself at all. Although she hardly ate her body kept its weight. Her face was chalky and pale. Her hair had humbled itself to thin strands of limp crimson locks.

As the sun crept up the walls of her small room her sickness didn't fail her. Stumbling out from the lavatory, her body crumpled at the foot of her bed. She broke down into a grave sob. All the walls of the room felt as though they were crashing down on her. Her shoulders ached from the weight they carried. Rose solemnly pulled herself up next to the nightstand. Wrapping her fingers around the sharp blade calmed her slightly. Raising the blade to her scarred thighs she pressed hard. The first cut always felt the best. Thins streaks of red trickled out from her legs. She exhaled slowly as she dragged the cold metal along her skin. Feeling satisfied minutes later; Rose cleaned up and dressed ready to start another lifeless day.

TBC

A/N: Sorry it's short! I am just getting warmed up. The long and more meaningful chapters shall come soon! I promise. As always please read and review! Thanks!


	3. Fainting Truths

Her fingers moved feverishly. Glancing up at the clock, she hurried to finish before it was quitting time. Her cherry locks tumbled down across her face. She delicately swept them back behind her ears. The bell rang sharply through her ears. Stopping her days work, Rose stood up from her seat. A wave of dizziness crashed over her, sending her to the floor. A petite, young woman rushed to Rose's side.

"Rose! Are you okay? Rose!?"

Cradled in the woman's arms, Rose steadied her mind as she tried to compose herself. Apologizing profusely, Rose braced herself and stood up brushing at her dress.

"I'm fine, I just lost my balance, that's all," She assured the ladies as she compulsively mussed with her skirt, "Thank you Elizabeth." She smiled weakly at the petite woman.

The woman's emerald eyes flashed with doubt as she let go of Rose's arm. Pretending to be satisfied she nodded to Rose before she gathered her things.

After the fuss, Rose escaped the factory walking briskly down the street towards her lonely so called home. Her face was on fire but her hands were cold and numb. Her body was so frail and delicate. Silently reprimanding herself for being so clumsy, she heard the small clicks of heels behind her. One guess as to who it was. Rose sighed as she turned around to face her friend.

"Rose! I just wanted to catch up and make sure your fine. You've been so pale lately. Have you been eating..." Her voice trailed off in Rose's mind as Rose placidly pretended to look interested.

"I just have been overworked lately. I'm fine, really. There's nothing to fuss about." Elizabeth didn't but it. Cocking her eyebrow in quandary, she knew that was far from the truth. True, Rose had worked hard the past few weeks but she had been pale and sickly for even weeks before that. And Elizabeth knew that Rose had been sick most days.

Like the light bulb that flashes above one's head, Elizabeth's eyes flashed awareness and comprehending as she put all the pieces together in her head. She gasped and cupped her mouth at the same time, "Rose..." Fading to an almost whisper, "Could you be...?"

Rose shook her head in confusion, "Could I...? What?"

"Could...you...be ....with child?" The words shot right through Rose's chest like a speeding arrow. She immediately felt queasy as she comprehended what Elizabeth was asking. Could she really? No but then that would mean. Her eyes spoke truths that only eyes could possibly do. Staring at her friend in disbelief she shook her head harshly as she turned around and took off walking even more quickly than before.

Elizabeth just watched her friend walk off knowing the truth.

* * *

TBC

Sorry I know it was another short chapter but I promise the longer ones will come soon! J Hope you are enjoying it. I appreciate all my readers and reviewers. Thanks!


	4. A Faultering Promise

Slamming the door shut, Rose pressed her head against the cold wood sobbing. Breathing heavily, she clasped her hand around her mouth as she tried to fathom what had transpired at the factory. Pregnant? The word permeated around her listless body. So it was true. She hadn't recognized the sign. The thick black fog that clouded her mind had kept her from realizing that she was indeed pregnant. Guilt, panic, love and sadness rushed through her veins. She was pregnant yet she could hardly take care of herself. In the same moment, Rose was more then elated because she knew whose child it was. She did have something to remember him by. Her hand slowly slid from her mouth to her stomach where her unending love grew silently.

Rose knew she couldn't stay here. She desperately needed help. She didn't have much money left. Knowing her job at the factory wasn't enough either she grabbed her small trunk. Fingers trembling, she clutched onto her clothing as she lay them down. She picked up a soft, sheer pink dress which was a bit tattered. As she gently laced her fingers around the ribbons her heart wept bitterly. This was the dress she wore the night that... Rose crumpled to the floor grasping at the dress.

Squeezing tightly she slightly let go enough for the dress to slip from her slender fingers. His bright eyes flashed through her mind. She promised him. Taking a moment to reflect she only saw a whimpering empty shell of the woman she once was. Her had saved her for what? She had to make it count. She promised. Her jaw still quivering, she took a deep breath rising slowly from the floor. Placing the last of her possessions into the trunk she clasped it shut. She wrote a quick note to the landlord, then placing a few dollar bills across the letter she walked briskly to the door. She needed to find an old friend...

TBC

A/N: Once again I promise the plot will pick up once I finish my character development. Sorry for the short chapters but I do appreciate my reviews! They mean to world to me! :)


	5. But, miss, she did say Dewitt Bukater

_Sorry for the long wait! But I have been sooooo... busy lately with school and all! I promise I will try not to take so long in the future. And now on with the story..._

Her hand trembled as she nervously tapped the knocker. Her hand lightly grazed the dark cherry wood of the door before she pulled away and turned quickly. But before she had a chance to escape she heard the door creak open. Turning slightly her dark, empty eyes met the lively light, blue eyes of the woman before her. Rose opened her mouth to speak but only air escaped.

The woman eyed the small, frail woman before her. She looked a fright. Her somewhat crimson locks were limp and dry, her complexion was pasty at best, and her face, emotionless.

"May I help you, miss?"

She took a long breath before speaking, "I am looking for Ms. Brown."

The woman furrowed her brow in confusion before answering her. What would such an unkempt woman want with an obviously higher class woman? "May I ask who is calling miss?"

"Rose. Rose DeWitt Bukater." The words sounded so foreign to her but she assumed Molly wouldn't recognize Dawson.

The woman nodded gesturing the petite woman into the sitting room before exiting in search of Ms. Brown. Rose's eyes surveyed the room before her. Her eyes caught glimpses of ornate vases and elegant wall coverings as she made her way around the room. Then she saw something that almost curved her lips upward. A painting. Monet, to be exact. _Impression: Sunrise _to be even more exact. Everything in the painting was almost colorless except the vibrant orange sunrise. It gave hope to those who had fallen on misfortune. Memories flooded back washing over her like a tidal wave. She almost fell to the floor but remained strong. She could do this. He would have wanted her to.

Rose heard voices coming towards the parlor.

"But, miss, she did say Dewitt Bukater."

"Are you sure?" She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes confirmed what the young servant had said. Molly's eyes widened as though she saw a ghost, of course she might as well have.

"Rose...."

Rose smiled slightly as the robust woman hurried towards her and enveloped her in strong and comforting arms.

"Rose! We thought you...How did you.... Your mother....We thought..!" The woman jabbered on as she kissed Rose's forehead. Pressing her hands to Rose's temples she locked eyes with her, "Rose where have you been? Your mother was worried sick and then..." Her eyes dropped, "We thought you died."

Rose's eyes fell to the floor at the sound of mother. She felt so guilty but not enough to come home or write her to tell her she was alive. Rose spoke so quietly she was barely audible, "I um...Rose DeWitt Bukater did die that night. I am Rose Dawson."

Molly's eyes lightened up, "As in Jack Dawson? Are you two....? Where is the old scalawag.....?! him, I do..."

A pale green crept up Rose's face as her eyes dimmed until they shimmered no more. Molly at once knew what had happened. She hugged the frail girl tighter.

"Oh! I am so sorry, sweetie! I had hoped but so many....there were so many..." Her voice trailed off as Rose let the tears flow freely. She clutched to Molly as though she would fall. Her hands grasping tightly. She let go and crumpled to the floor telling her story through must needed sobs.

Molly just knelt beside her comforting her and rocking her gently. Desperately trying to console the girl before her, she whispered good thoughts to her.

"It's going to be okay, dear. Anything you need. Anything at all, just ask."

"I...um...I hate to ask but...I need a place to stay for a just a little while just until...the...baby..." Rose couldn't finish before she sobbed again. Molly understood.

"A baby, dear! Now that is news worth hearing! Of course you can stay. Wouldn't have it any other way. Oh Rose." She tightened her hug.

"Thank you, Molly. I mean I just don't know how...I never had any brothers or sisters. I don't know how to do anything..."

"Shh...Don't worry. I'll help you. We'll make Jack the proudest father ever!"

Rose smiled through bloodshot eyes and nodded ever so slightly, "Thank you."

TBC


	6. Day After Day

The clicking of her shoes reminded her of a clock. Time followed her wherever she went, calling to her. She was three and a half months pregnant, only five and a half to go. Rose slightly enjoyed her time she spent with Molly. Rose was, however preoccupied. Finding a job here in the "classy side of the tracks" was much more harder. Molly toldher she didn't need one but Rose called that nonsense; saying that she needed a good job if she wanted to take care of her child for the years to come.

After what seemed like weeks, Rose found a decent paying seamstress job lying at her feet. She swept down on it like a hawk devouring its prey. The hours were long and tiring but the pay equaled it. Her days had become to monotonous she hated herself. She got up, practiced her daily ritual of real pain upon her thighs, showered, ate breakfast, went to work, came home, ate dinner and then cried herself to sleep. This was her life. Jack had given his up so she could be miserable. She almost laughed at it, if it wasn't for the fact that laughing hurt so much. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed uncontrollably. Or perhaps she did; it was after her and Jack had escaped Lovejoy's grasp. They had come up to the deck of the boat, laughing and kissing, making promises to one another, then the iceberg came that showered her world with the coldness she felt everyday since then. Her heart had froze over that day; not since then had the sun managed to melt it.

* * *

"Good morning to you Rose, pray you slept well?" Molly's hearty voice rang throughout the room.

"As well as one can be I suppose." Rose simply stated as cheerfully as she could muster. She childishly played with her eggs as she lightly clicked the fork against the plate. Molly smiled at her. She knew the poor girl was extremely unhappy. She wanted to help cheer her up, but how?

"Rose, dear, what do you say to you and me going shopping today? It is your day off, is it not?"

"It is, but I would dare not trouble you with my presence. Thank you."

"Nonsense! Shopping it is!" Molly chuckled as she stood up, "Meet me in the parlor at noon. Today will be fun, get some fresh air, perhaps we can visit the park as well."

Before Rose could even sneak a word in, the deal was set in stone according to Molly and not wanting to offend her, Rose complied. She went back upstairs to dress.

Pulling off her robe and shift, Rose stepped into the hot bath. The scalding hot water burned so greatly that it was freezing. As she ran the rag up and down her thighs, she stared at her scars her milky white skin produced. Each one had its own story and sorrow to tell. She listened. As she stood up from her bath she took one look at her stomach which protruded the slightest bit and a smiled beamed from her face. Nothing could ever bring her such joy and sadness as this child would. It would haunt her of the man she lost and it would comfort her when she was weak. When she finished dressing and reminiscing, Rose met Molly in the parlor. They headed out for what would be an incredulous day…

TBC

A/N: Sorry for the long update but Finals are fast approaching. I will be updating more soon when it's over. Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who have read and enjoyed this story up to this point. And a special thanks to those who reviewed. I really appreciate all the kind things people say. I know it is a bit of a longwinded story but I am trying to build up my character analysis rather than a specific plot so I know not much has happened yet. But as I go along I promise it will offer more drama and heartbreak since those are my favorite kinds of stories. Thanks so much!

Mandy Lynn


	7. The Devils Day

Her fingers lightly grazed the silky fabrics draped before her. Shopping had never been one of Rose's favorite things but today, however, her eyes never seemed to leave the magnificent garments laid before her. The soft, graceful folds of delicate fabric reminded her of a life she had left behind; so enticing at first, the feeling of gentle silk gliding across her smooth skin. But she knew such riches came with a price; a feeling of tightness and suppression, as her body would be conformed to fit a corset. She knew it all too well. The freedom she felt now was gratifying; at a price of course. Nothing was free. Her fingers slipped from the fabrics and fell across her stomach which hardly made any notice at all, but she knew.

Escaping her depressing thoughts, Rose made her way towards other departments. She had managed to escape Molly, mind you she had only the most utmost respect for her but at the moment she could not have been more grateful to have "strayed away". Rose was in one of her "moods" again. The dark, gray cloud loomed above her. At this moment, all Rose wanted was to go home to her dark and secluded room. The clothes, the shoes, the furniture, everything here reminded her of the life she lived before. The walls of the room moved closer to her inch by inch. Beads of cold sweat lightly ran its course down her pale neck. Pushing the doors open, Rose made her way outside. Finding solace on a bench close by, she sat down to breath.

As she sighed a breath of relief, Rose pulled her coat around her tighter. The wind whirled viciously around her. Paying no heed, people passed right by her on the street. She didn't belong here. But where could she go? She had no friends except for Molly, she had little money and she had little talents. She chuckled to herself. What a sad, pathetic mother she would make. As her thoughts diseased her mind, she caught a glimpse of her past that caused her great pain. The man that locked her up and dressed her as a doll. Cal.

Rose's heart stopped as she made certain it was him. Practically falling over, Rose rushed back into the department store to find sanctuary. Pressed against the wall she held her breath hoping his fierce eyes hadn't seen her. Moments later, satisfied that she had escaped unscathed, Rose went back upstairs to find Molly. The tears stung at her eyes. Emotions of that night crept up her spine. She felt these momentary lapses seemed to follow her wherever she went.

As usual Rose was caught up in her own decomposing thoughts. She walked past the furniture when her heart stopped in her throat as _his_ voice cut through the air, "You look well, Rose."

She turned without haste and found her eyes staring blankly into his devilish grin.

TBC

A/N: Sorry this chapter was so boring! I hope I will liven it up in the next chapter. Anyway sorry for the slowness but I have been so lazy lately.:) Winter break does that to me. Anyway, the next chapter should be up sooner than later.

Mandy


	8. Caged

"In fact, Rose, you look quite stunning, considering you were dead, or so I thought."

Rose pressed herself up against the wall as he caged her in. His eyes glared deliciously at her body as he surveyed up and down. Her eyes frantically darted around looking for anyone; however Cal had managed to trap her in a secluded area of the store.

"Looking for someone, are we sweet pea?" The words whispered past her ears as his face brushed against her cheek, "No one is around, I made sure." Hearing his breathing quicken, she held her own as he placed his hands upon her shoulders. His touch felt cold and sharp, like ice. Sliding them down at an alarming pace he brought his hands down to her hands where he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"No ring, my love? Did _he_ not make it?" His excitement grew with each passing word.

All strength Rose once possessed hastily drained from her now, leaving her a tearful stare.

"You see my dear, justice proves itself again. He should never have laid his filthy hands on you." He took a slow and thoughtful breath before continuing, "I, however, am quite forgiving, you see. You are, after all, just a woman. You need guidance. I should have never let you out of my sight."

Rose felt his breath blow across her cheek as he continued. Her mouth quivering, Rose squeezed her eyes shut as he spoke ill of Jack. Afraid of his anger, she kept quiet silently praying that someone would walk by.

"I won't make that mistake again. Now Rose, be a good girl and come with me." He gripped her hand tightly, locking her in his grasp.

Rose whimpered as she felt her body being pulled. Her mind screamed for her to stop and call out to anyone but her body disregarded all thoughts and reluctantly followed. He escorted her out to the streets where the sun shined brightly. Not one person found it funny that a high class man was escorting a low class woman. After all that was very much not uncommon. Rose followed as they came towards the automobile. A simple man opened the door for the two. Rose stepped inside, her thoughts shrieking for her to run away. However Rose, found herself doing what she used to do, complying. Ms. Rose De Witt Bukater had bubbled to the surface.

TBC


	9. A Sick Revelation

Trapped. No other word in the English dictionary could have described Rose's feelings better. Cal had managed to corner her. She had followed him to the car like a lost puppy dog. Now she was here at his home. Sitting, in a corner of the small but lavish bedroom, Rose held back the tears as she desperately tried to think of a way to get out. Cal was smarter than that though; her room had bars on the window and a gentleman was posted outside her room. He also had found out that Rose was staying with Molly Brown so he quickly forced Rose to write a note explaining her absence. Cal took the liberty to send it. Now only Cal knew the real whereabouts of Rose.

He promised himself, that he would make her pay for her insolence.

Rose sighed heavily as she pulled back her ruby strands. What was she going to do? Once he found out she was pregnant, oh god! She couldn't even think about what he might do. There was only one way to survive; maybe just maybe if she slept with Cal, she could pray that he thought it was his. She was already three months pregnant but perhaps she could somehow convince him that it was his. The thoughts that consumed her sickened her. Rose rushed to lavatory.

After emptying her stomach, she decided that she had no choice; she was willing to do anything to save Jack's baby even if it meant lying. It would only be until she could escape. Rose knew dinner would be in an hour or so. This would be it. Rose would sell her soul to the devil….

A/N: Sorry for the delay but school has been really busy lately. I know this chapter was kinda rushed but the next one will be much better, I Promise! Thanks for all the reviews!

Mandy


	10. The Devil's Whore

A/N: This chapter is rated M... you have been warned...

Rose lulled her head right to left as Cal ravishingly suckled her throat. The very idea of Cal being on op of her frail body was sickening enough. Rose gasped out as he nipped at her ear. Hell was already waiting for her. Here she was in her ex-fiancé's room; copulating with the devil himself and she couldn't help but enjoy it. Her moans and cries betrayed her inner thoughts. And yet she couldn't stop her body from quivering as Cal ran his hand up her pasty thigh.

His touch was electric, sending pulse up and down her spine. He seemed to find each of her pleasure spots. No wonder, she thought to herself, he seemed to enjoy practicing this with every girl he could lay his hands on. She cried out again as he moved his hand between her. He then slowly braced himself above her. The first thrust was painful, more than her first time with Jack. After that, he seemed to fill a void her body ached for. As Cal rode harder, Rose cried out even louder in pain and ecstasy. Her mind ceased to be as she stopped thinking about any and all things. As it was, she was nothing more than Satan's whore, in her eyes. Like a carnal desire, Rose let her instincts take over and she rode the wave to a crashing end that left her fulfilled and satisfied. Her whimpers convinced Cal that she was his and no one else's.

Through heavy gasps, Rose wiped back her sweat sodden locks. He reached over and took a swig of whiskey. The hot fiery liquid quenched all but one desire. He turned back around to finish off round two before finally acknowledging her existence.

"You see Rose; I can give you that every night..." He purred in her ear. She shivered at the thought. But plastered on a syrupy smile and nodded as her pulse fell back down. Cal pulled up away from her and sneered at her gaunt appearance.

"Rose, you look quite unhealthy. Your skin is deathly pale and you're beginning to let yourself go," He motioned to her abdomen, "See to it, that doesn't become a problem. You know I prefer my women to be..." He reached for his whiskey and left the room.

Tears rolled down Rose's cheeks. How could she do such a thing? And enjoy it?

She didn't even have the heart to pull herself from the bed; instead she lay there soaking in spilt seed. She lay like that until finally her heart gave up and she fell asleep, reminding herself that this was for her survival and her baby's survival.

A/N 2: Once again, sorry for a short chapter but it felt right to end it there until next time! Dun...dun...dun...! I will have another chapter posted soon I promise!


	11. Deadly Measures

"What the hell, Rose!" Cal stomped in a torrid motion as he paced the room. She crawled up small in the corner. Shaking her head fiercely, she spoke no words.

"I will not acknowledge it. I will have no part of it! I will claim no whore's child!" In a rage of fury he left the room slamming the door so hard, the picture next to it came crashing to the floor in an impending clatter.

Rose shivered as she sat huddled in the small corner. Her hand came instinctively to her stomach. Silently cursing herself for ever thinking he would accept her child even if it truly had been his. Getting up off the floor shakily, she rushed to her desk and rummaged through the drawer. Finding the small wad of cash she had hidden, some of it rightfully hers and the rest, Cal's. Every time he left her after their rendezvous, she went rummaging for any thing that could help her escape. Cal absent-mindedly left his trousers a few times.

She quietly slipped the cash into her corset, then she reached for the fountain pen. She then clipped it to her garter stocking. Desperately searching the room for anything else that would aid in her escape, she heard the muffled voices coming from outside her room. Feigning fear, she rushed back to her corner where she lay back down as the door opened. Two of Cal's brutes made their way over to here where the taller man grabbed her by the shoulder and peeled her up against the wall.

"The boss says we're taking you for a little ride, miss." He grinned exposing his lucid teeth to her. She cringed at his words. But reluctantly let them lead her down to the automobile outside. As the taller man helped her in, he closed the door. He motioned to the driver. Rose knew exactly where they were going. She had heard of abortions. She knew it was a dangerous operation where the doctors killed a pregnant woman's baby. Lots of lower class woman tended to get them. As Rose stared helplessly out the window, the tall man moved very close to her. He whispered in her ear leaving her feeling the chills.

"The boss says you are too frail to carry a child. Says you need to be taken to the doctors. He's given me plenty of money to persuade the doctor to look after you." He smiled and breathed raggedly. Licking his lips he purred, "You know I don't have to take you if you don't want to, but it will cost you missy."

She felt nauseous even thinking about it, but she smiled anyway. She turned to face him.

"You would save my baby?"

"Just say the word, doll." He bit his lip seductively.

She raised her hand towards her thigh, "I just don't know." She slipped her hand underneath her skirt and wrapped her fingers around the pen. She knew the blow had to be perfect, otherwise he would be too strong for her.

In seconds flat, Rose pulled the pen out and plunged it deep in the tall man's throat. He cried out as blood splayed everywhere. She breathed a sigh of relief knowing it had hit the jugular. She pulled it out letting the blood spurt in all directions. As the man toppled over, the driver pulled the car over. Rose, knowing he would get her, lunged out and pierced the man in the shoulder with the pen. He swerved and ran out into a ditch as he yelled out in pain, Rose pulled at the pen, but it wouldn't budge. Frantic she tried her best to punch the man, but to no avail she quickly reached for the closest thing to her which was her coat. She grabbed for it and swiveled it around to cover his face. She pulled hard, restraining him to the seat. His arms flailed around wildly as he screamed in pain. Bracing her feet against the back of the seat she pulled tighter feeling the coat wrap tighter around him. She pulled with all her strength until his body finally collapsed. Letting go, and not wanting to check to see if he was dead, she reached into the tall man's coat and grabbed the money. Unlocking the door, she jumped out and ran as quickly as she could.

Luckily, Rose had managed to find country pastures to the north of her so she trekked undetected for miles until she found a small brush where she could rest. Caked blood clung to her. Her crimson hair was matted and tangled. The smell of dried and lucid blood danced around her nostrils. The sky turned dark and cold. Quivering, she collapsed in the brush. Shocked at herself, she crawled into a fetal position. She had killed at least one man, maybe another. But her child was in danger. She promised herself that no matter what the cost no one would hurt this child. She tirelessly fell asleep in the brush.

TBC...


	12. Meeting Mr Calvert

Rose trekked on until her legs felt as though they would give out. She shook out the last remaining drops of water that clung to her locks. As she smoothed out the white smock she wore, she sat down on a rock that occupied the side of the road. It had been two days since her ordeal and she felt a new spirit. After waking in the bushes, she cleaned her self the best she could before she went out in search of new clothing. Her dress was stained in blood and there was no way she could go into any town looking like this. After what felt like hours, she found a small farm where the laundry hung out to dry. She took one of the gowns praying it would fit as she slipped some cash into the clip not wanting to steal the dress.

Now Rose was clean and revived after escaping Cal. She estimated that she had gone on at least thirty miles if not more from where she left the automobile. No food since then left her tired and weak. Rose got up determined to make it to the next town which lay just out of her reach. As she moved on she thought about how she would relay a message to Molly to let her know that she was okay, knowing that Molly would worry regardless of that letter Cal had made her send.

The sun filtered glittering rays across her sullen face warming her. Taking a great victorious breath she smiled as the countryside littered with homes came into view. Almost dragging her feet along, she walked down the dirt road staring at all the homes were she knew there were families inside; husbands and wives who were cooking and cleaning for their children. Tears stung at her eyes as she remembered that Jack would never have any of this. Completely lost in her own mournful thoughts, she barely heard the man's voice that called to her.

"Excuse Miss?" She whipped around frightfully. A man dressed in a simple pair of blue trousers and a green linen shirt smiled crookedly at her. He was riding atop a shabby carriage. She attempted to smile back. The tears glistened in her eyes catching the sunlight.

"Are you alright, Miss?" Haphazardly wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, she nodded nervously. The man eyed her cautiously.

"I'm sorry. I must look dreadful. I'm fine, thank you." She mumbled the words out in a jumbled murmur.

"Heading into town are you?" His face was worn but had a warm feel.

She nodded.

"Come aboard, miss. It'll be no trouble, I'm heading there anyway." He outstretched his hand.

She eyed him warily before she took his hand as he hoisted her into the seat next to him. She smoothed out her gown as she stared intently at a piece of thread coming loose. He saw her nervousness and smiled.

"I'm John Calvert."

"Rose. Rose Dawson."

"Well Miss Dawson, what's a young lady like you doing out here on the roads?"

"I..uh…I…" Rose mumbled out trying to think of some reason.

Sensing her uneasiness, he spoke, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. That was very rude of me."

"No, it's okay. I just… it's just…I've lost my husband." Rose blurted out needing to get some things off her chest.

"I'm so sorry Miss Dawson, I don't know even know what to say." He apologized.

"Thank you. I've lost everything. I don't even know where I'm going." Tears slipped down across her pale cheeks.

"Do you have family?"

Rose shook her head, "I'm all alone."

"Well I can't send a young widow such as your self out into the city with nothing." John retorted.

"Oh no, I've got some money for board and…"

"Nonsense! My sister and I have a small farm just outside the city and we have plenty of room. You need somewhere to stay and we need an extra hand with the farm. An honest exchange I think, what do you say?"

"I just couldn't, I don't want…." Rose replied.

"I won't take no for an answer, Miss Dawson." John stated jubilee.

Rose looked over at him and smiled softly. He reminded her of Jack. She nodded quickly as he nodded in unison.

"Right, now if you'd like to accompany me into the city, we can come back after and get you settled in."

* * *

Rose nodded again. She eased into her seat just a bit as she felt relieved to know she wasn't going to have to sleep in the bushes again.

Rose followed John into the feed store. He strolled up to the counter and called out, "Laura!"

Moments later, a petite brunette emerged from the back. She was dressed in a simple taupe gown and a white apron. Wisps of hay stuck to her braids. Wiping the ash from her face she came forward and smiled.

"Hello Mr. Calvert! How are you this afternoon?'

"Just lovely and you Laura?" He asked her as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

"I'm fine and Papa's doing much better. He should be back to work in no time." She answered with a revered look in her eyes.

"That's good to hear but I'm sure I'll miss your smile when your Papa comes back." John revealed his charming smile to her.

Laura blushed slightly, "Oh I'll still be here since Papa shouldn't be working hard anymore." She looked down for a moment before she looked up again and saw Rose for the first time

"Is this your sister?" She asked

"Oh no, this is Rose Dawson, she's new in town and we're boarding her up for a while."

Laura nodding and took Rose's hand, "Hello Rose, I'd be happy to show you around town sometime if you'd like."

Rose nodded softly. Laura nodded back and then turned to John, "Let me get your supplies then."

John nodded as he turned back to Rose and smiled. For the first time in days, she smiled back feeling almost normal.

TBC…..

_Author's Note: I owe the biggest apology for not writing this in sooooooo long! I feel so bad! I can't believe it has been over a year. I will finish this story soon. No more procrastinating. I owe it to all of you that have been reading this story. Thanks so much for supporting me and posting comments. They really help me when I feel down about my writing skills._


	13. New Friendships

"And so that's how I came to meet Ms. Dawson." John finished his story as he took another bite of a biscuit.

Rose looked up at him and smiled curtly before looking back down at her dinner. She tried very hard not to eat it too fast but her stomach almost cried out in protest.

"So Rose, it is Rose right?" Mary Calvert acknowledged Rose as she nodded, "Where is it that you come from?"

Rose bit her lip as she set her glass down and looked up, "Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin."

"You are very far from home here in Pennsylvania. May I ask what you are doing here?" Mary asked as she passed the butter to her brother who Rose caught staring at her. He looked away the minute their eyes locked.

"My husband, Jack and I moved from Wisconsin to start a family here when he became very ill. He passed away and I didn't have any money or any family. So I just walked wondering what would become of me when your gracious brother here found me and insisted that I come here." Rose swallowed back the tears as she spoke of Jack.

Mary stopped in mid motion and went pale, "I am so sorry Rose. I shouldn't have asked. I did not know."

"No it is okay, Mary. I have come to accept it." Rose went back to eating and the rest of dinner was eaten in silence. Mary insisted on doing the dishes and told John to show Rose to her room.

John walked up the small staircase. He turned to the left and came to a small wooden door. He opened it and let Rose in. She walked past the door and into a small quaint room. The walls were a warm peach and the bed was covered in a pretty floral pattern that suited Rose just fine. She turned to John.

"Thank you. This will do just fine."

John smiled to her and nodded his head, "There are a few old dresses of Mary's in the drawers over there if you need something to wear. If you need anything else, anything at all just call for me, Ms. Dawson."

"Please, call me Rose."

"Rose." He let it sit between his lips tasting it before he spoke again, "I will take you into town tomorrow to help get you some supplies to get settled in. Good night."

Rose sat on the small bed as John closed the door. Feeling light and tired, she climbed into the bed not even taking off her dress. Within moments, she was asleep.

The sun peeked in through the curtains washing over Rose beckoning her to wake up. The smell of bacon and eggs permeated the air. Rose slowly got up and went over to the drawers to find something to wear.

Mary Calvert placed linen over the bacon as she went back to the counter to grab the pitcher of juice. John walked in and smiled.

"Sister, I swear you'd wake the whole town with your cooking if it was closer." John walked over to the table and picked up the linen covering the bacon and reached for a piece.

Mary smacked his hand with a spoon, "You will do no such thing until Rose is here, John. For heaven's sake where are your manners?" Sheepishly John pulled back his hand and sat down. Mary brought over his silverware.

"Speaking of Rose, is she up yet?" John asked as he reached for a cup. Mary shook her head but then stopped when Rose appeared in the doorway dressed in a plain blue gown.

"Morning, come sit down. I've made breakfast." Mary motioned to the table. Rose nodded and sat down silently. The whole breakfast was conversant by John and Mary. Rose ate her breakfast in silence and left her thoughts to herself. When she finished she excused herself and went outside.

Mary watched her leave the table, "That poor girl." John looked up at her as well. Grabbing one last piece of bacon he followed Rose out into the back farm.

Rose walked out for a bit before she stopped and knelt down. The wind nipped at her nose and the sun warmed her arms. John stopped behind her as she knelt. He didn't know whether he should intrude or not. Before deciding, she spoke, "Have you ever lost someone close John?"

John walked closer and sat up next to her, "Yes I have. My mother and my Father both passed this past year; left this whole farm to me and my sister."

"I never really lost anyone before except my father but he was not home very much. Sometimes I feel like it is not real and that maybe if I keep waiting, he'll just show up." Rose turned to face John. A single tear fell down her pale face. John timidly took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back.


	14. Find Her

_Author's Note: Okay I finally updated! Yay! I have been writing for my fanfiction again lately so stand by for more chapter updates on this and my other stories. Please read and review. Thanks!! _

Cal punched the wall as hard as he could. Pulling back his bruised knuckles he went over to the hospital bed as the detective came in again. Placing his hands in his pockets he smiled at the detective.

Detective Jones eyed him suspiciously as he pulled out his notepad, "Now Mr. Hockley if you could please repeat what took place for me."

"Of course, my associate here was on the way to the infirmary with my sick fiancé." Cal spoke with a calm voice. The detective jotted down notes as he turned to Mr. Long.

"And what happened?"

"The woman stabbed me with a pen and killed Jeffrey! Then she tried to choke me. Last I seen she was making off down the road covered in Jeffrey's blood." George Long motioned to his bandaged shoulder as he spoke.

The detective made more notes before turning back to Cal, "And your fiancé would do that because?"

Cal shook his head, "I have no idea Detective Jones why she would kill a man. She was being accompanied by them to the infirmary because she was ill. Perhaps the fever overtook her." Cal spoke in a sarcastic tone.

The detective stopped writing and looked up at Cal, "Mr. Hockley, let me put this to you straight. You are quite the headliner and I hardly doubt you want this to get into the papers so you give it to me real straight. Why would you fiancé not want to be in a car with these two men so far as for her to kill one?"

"I honestly cannot think of a reason. Rose is well mannered and polite. She would never ever hurt a creature. Perhaps it was not my fiancé. This man could be delusional and some low class freak robbed my staff and kidnapped my fiancé!" Cal grew hot and gripped his fists tight.

Detective Jones did not back down, "Mr. Hockley I can not even recall you being engaged since you lost your last fiancé." He added hotly.

Cal glared at the man, "Are you calling me a liar? I could have your job in a moment if I wished. With all of the money the Hockleys have invested into the New York Precinct." He added.

Not intimidated at all Detective Jones continued, "Rose? Now where have I heard that name before? Oh yes, now I remember. Wasn't your last fiancé named Rose? From the De Witt Bukaters if I recall correctly."

Caught off guard Cal did not realize he had said her name. No one knew she was alive and he'd sound crazy if he said that he had found her since not even her mother knew she was alive. He kept in contact with her in the months following Titanic and she never once mentioned her even after Cal found Rose.

"Sir?"

Cal looked up, "Coincidence."

"So her name is Rose. Rose what?"

"I'll expect her to be found unscathed." Cal walked over and shoved a wad of cash into the Detective's pocket, "Dawson. Rose Dawson." He ushered the detective out as he pounced on George.

"That'll keep him busy looking for a woman who does not exist that way you can buy time to find her. You will find her at any cost. My only stipulation is that you bring her back to me alive with or without my son, you got it?"

George nodded, "Good. If that detective comes back, you keep him on the Dawson trail. He won't find any record of a Rose Dawson which should keep him out. I'll go back to clean any media trail that will follow. This is kept mum. Understand?"


	15. Five Months and Counting

Rose found the farm life quite agreeable. The routine was comforting to her since she had about enough adventure to last a lifetime. While John profusely apologized for their quaint surroundings Rose absolutely loved it. No one to tell her what to say or how to act and best of all, no latest fashions from Paris including bone crushing corsets. This came as a blessing since Rose had no plans to corset up her stomach where her small child grew. She did however find a plain stay in town that hid her belly perfectly without constricting her too much. Afraid that John would kick her out once he found she was of no use to the farm being pregnant, Rose kept silent and hid her growing child from everyone. Her wardrobe grew looser and looser without the hint of showing.

Her bouts of depression lessened each day as she grew bigger. The physical love growing helped heal wounds otherwise left opened. When it was late at night she would tell her baby all about Jack and the heroic deed he sacrificed that night for Rose. It would all but make her cry. However sometimes there were nights when his memory would creep up into her mind and take over. She would find herself empty and forlorn and spend all night crying or releasing the pain in a hot bath with her trusty blade.

One night was especially bad for Rose after spending more than a month with the Calvert's. The weather didn't seem to help as the gloomy gray sky cried with her all day and all night. Rose had memories flooding back to her as she lay in her bed late in the evening after everyone was asleep. Her back ached and her baby was agitated as well. She could finally feel her baby move and tonight it was not happy at all. She rubbed her belly trying to comfort herself and the baby.

* * *

John Calvert woke to the sound of crashing thunder. The house was an icicle and John threw back his covers to check on the fire in the stove that heated the house. He shuffled out quietly from his room across the hall to the stairs when he noticed that Rose's door was open slightly. He found it odd since she never left it open when she was in there. Feeling uneasy, he made his way to her door and knocked ever so slightly. When no answer came he pushed the door back so he could slide in. The room was dark and the rain was pelting at her window which was opened. Furrowing his brow, John walked over to close it. Feeling the ice cold raindrops, he reached for the top of the window. As he pulled it down, he suddenly saw someone standing out in the pasture.

He quickly realized that Rose was not here in her room. The bed sheets were pushed back but no one occupied it. Confused, John walked quickly down the stairs. He made his way past the kitchen and out the back door. The rain pummeled down completely soaking him in a matter of moments. He trekked quickly over towards the pastures where the figure was standing. When she came into sight, he instantly recognized her long red hair dripping down her back. He came up behind her and noticed that she only had a white muslin shift on and it completely soaked. The cold air froze his fingers and he only imagined how cold she was. Trying not to scare her, he came up a little ways behind her and spoke loudly over the rain.

"Rose! What are you doing out here? For god's sake, it's freezing out here!"

She didn't turn to face him but she did speak only softer, "I heard him and then I saw him."

John looked out into the pastures beyond her and saw nothing, "Rose there is no one out here but you and me."

"He was here. I saw him," She began to cough a bit.

John came forward instantly pulling off his robe and coming to put it on her shoulders. As he reached her he stopped. There was no denying that her shift was completely see through when wet. He attempted not to look down but it was practically impossible when he saw what she had been hiding for months.

"Rose…" He started to speak as she still gazed out in the pastures with a hazy look in her eyes.

He couldn't help but follow the traces of her body down from her collarbone to her supple chest down to the bump that was recognizable with fabric clung to it. Shaking it from his mind he quickly finished covering her with his robe and half led her back towards the house. She was obviously not really with him and he knew he needed to get her back in before she caught cold. He led her back in the house, up the stairs and into her room where she still said nothing and stared blankly ahead. He left her standing while he rummaged her drawers for something similar to sleep in. Satisfied that he had found another shift, he pulled it out and set it on her bed. Beneath her was a puddle of water forming from her wet demeanor. He went to the bathroom quickly and searched for linens. He came back and covered her in one moving it back and forth attempting to dry her off.

"Jack… He was there; outside my window. He called for me." She spoke through chattering teeth as the cold finally struck her.

"Rose you're soaking wet. You need to get dry and get into something much warmer." John instructed as she took the linen from him and dried her hair somewhat as she walked towards the window again. John followed with the dry shift he grabbed from her bed. She simply watched the window as she slipped out of John's robe. He instantly looked up and away as she slipped out of her wet shift. He reached out for her with the shift and helped her to slip into it all the while trying to ignore the pale skin that silhouetted the window light. Satisfied that she was decent, he went to her coat hanger and grabbed her robe and came back and slipped it on her. Even in this dry loose shift, he could see her raised belly and he wondered how he never noticed it before.

He motioned for Rose to come back to the bed. She simply followed and said nothing. He ushered her into the sheets and pulled them up around her. She almost instantaneous fell asleep. John sat by her side for more than an hour making sure she did not get up again.

* * *

Detective Jones had been on the phone for more than an hour with this guy, "Hockley. I told you his name is Hockley, Caledon Hockley." Jones' partner Detective Strait sat down next to Jones and offered him a cup of tea.

"Okay, thank you." Jones' hung up the phone exasperated, "I've been chasing my tail on this one for an hour now. It seems no one in this town has heard of Mr. Hockley's fiancée Rose Dawson. I'm starting to think someone else was in that car."

"Well I just got something less than ten minutes ago. You better brace yourself for this." Strait shifted forward.

"Give it to me, Will." Jones moved closer.

"It seems that Mr. Hockley did indeed lie about his fiancée but not in the way you think. I did some research on his old fiancé Rose De Witt Bukater, you know, the one that died on Titanic?"

"Go on," Jones indicated.

"Well, sure enough she wasn't on the survivor list but there was a Rose Dawson on the list, from steerage though."

"What do you make of it, Will?" Jones asked obviously intrigued.

"I don't know but it seems pretty peculiar that he drops one woman off and picks up another on the same ill fated ship and both with the same first name. However, get this," Strait moves even closer.

Jones eagerly motions him to continue, "A Rose Dawson never boarded the ship according to the boarding list."

"So one Rose De Witt Bukater boards the Titanic and one Rose Dawson leaves the ship."

"I think we need to go back to Mr. Hockley and have a little chat with him about his disappearing girlfriends."

TBC...

_Author's Notes: Pretty please read and review!! I get more inspired when I hear what my readers think! Thanks!! _


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